Some helpful hints for the holidays
In our previous entry we spoke at length about how to plan a safe trip for the holidays. But many of us don’t have the luxury of travel, or we’re the designated destination for the gathering. While perhaps not as nerve-wracking as travelling, it does still come with its own set of difficulties, particularly when one of the members of your gathering is experiencing cognitive decline. Whether you will be meeting at your home or organising visits to a care facility, here’s a bit of advice on how to make this a pleasant experience for everyone.
Meeting at home:
First things first, have a plan going in. Make sure you know your loved one’s limits and what can potentially overwhelm them. If a big gathering on the day might be a bit too much for them, consider staggering it over a few days. Focus on controlling the environment rather than the person; tone down decorations or activity that could cause disorientation or might lead to accidents. Regarding those visiting, make sure they all know what to expect going in and how they can best support you during their visit.
When planning out the decorations and activities, try to involve your loved one in the process. Get their feedback so you know if there’s anything particularly special that can help them feel more comfortable with the whole set up. Being more than just a passive observer will go a long way in maintaining a sense of ease. Most importantly, don’t forget to take care of yourself; it’s your holiday as well after all. Ask visitors ahead of time if they would be able to give you a hand in keeping an eye on your loved one or helping out with some of the tasks while there. Don’t carry all the responsibility on your own shoulders when there are others around to share it.
Meeting at the facility:
As nice as it would be to meet at home it isn’t always feasible. If your loved one has declined to the point that they need constant supervision or even if leaving for the day could cause undue stress, it may be wise to rather arrange for family to visit and celebrate at the actual facility. This is likely where your loved one feels most at ease due to the familiar surroundings; additionally, the staff will be available to give extra guidance and support to ensure your loved one has their best experience of the gathering. But keep in mind the staff have a lot on their plates at the best of times and during the holidays they are likely burning the Christmas candle at both ends. Try to work with them ahead of time to find out when would be convenient for them to accommodate your visit as well as when would be the optimal time for your loved one, as often there is a time of day when they are “at their best.”
As with the home visit, it will likely be a good idea to stagger visitors over a few days rather than have one big gathering. This will put less pressure on both your loved one and the facility staff. Take special care when bringing children to visit; as we all know they are usually bundles of energy that can be quite contagious.
We hope that you and your loved ones are able to be together for this holiday season and if not, we hope that the new year will bring a time of closeness and unity. In a world that is always finding new ways to divide us, it is good to take time to remind ourselves that there is still more that binds us, and that those bonds are not so easily broken.
